Saturday, 24 May 2014

Saturday Morning Cartoons - R To G

The following movie clips were all viewed by a group of TV executives who collectively decided, "Hey, this seems like quality family entertainment we could expose our nation's youth to!"

As I was writing last week about the unreleased Aliens cartoon, I was reminded of a bunch of other R-rated material turned G-rated. Here are some of the weirdest examples...


Shockingly, this show makes no bones about the fact (right in the theme song!) that Alex Murphy is murdered and turned into a cyborg. In fact, Clarence Boddicker from Paul Verhoeven's original film is seen here as the same murderer. Clarence makes an actual appearance in the series, in the 12th and final episode called 'Menace Of The Mind'.

Other movie characters also appear in the show, including Officer Anne Lewis, OCP chairman "The Old Man" and Dr. Tyler. 

Not long after the cancellation of The Animated Series, another more jokey series was released called RoboCop: Alpha Commando (1998-1999), which featured some of RoboCop's previously unheard-of enhancements, like fast-action roller skates(?). And...uh...a very literal cloaking device.


In the cartoon version of Rambo, there is decidedly less decapitation. Rambo, depicted as more of a loner in the movies, is part of an elite group of freedom fighters who take on a terrorist organization called S.A.V.A.G.E. (Specialist-Administrators of Vengeance, Anarchy and Global Extortion)  His teammates all have descriptive (and mildly racist) code-names like in the G.I. Joe TV series, including Turbo, White Dragon, T.D. "Touchdown" Jones and uh...Chief. Yes, just Chief.


Many of your favourites from the film series are here and even less funny - Mahoney, Larvel Jones, Sweetchuck, Hightower, Tackleberry, Callahan, Proctor, Lassard, etc. Thankfully there's also a group of talking dogs to add to the high-larity! None of the original voice actors appear in the cartoon, although The Fat Boys make guest appearances! They also do the show's stoopid dope theme song.


Similar to the film series, this confusing Canadian cartoon takes itself WAY too seriously, telling the story of Quentin, the last of the MacLeods - descendant of Connor MacLeod from the original Highlander. While certainly ambitious (and even highlighting a few beheadings!), Highlander only lasted 2 seasons. Some episodes have been cut together to form a feature film called, Highlander: The Adventure Begins.

TOXIC CRUSADERS  (1990-1991)

Toxie was a far more respectable freak in this knock-off of Troma's low-budget Toxic Avenger series. In it, Toxie takes on a much less violent fight on Earth's behalf against the evil forces of planet Smogula, who need to create pollution to survive. Toxie receives help from his fellow crusaders - No-Zone, Major Disaster, Headbanger, Junkyard and Toxie's magic mop, which now has toxic-enhanced thinking capabilities. There were only 13 episodes of the series made, which "Uncle Lloydie" from Troma helps to explain at the beginning of this episode called 'This Spud's For You!'. 

I won't include Conan The Adventurer (1992-1993) and/or Conan and The Young Warriors (1994) on this list as it's based more on the novel series by Robert E. Howard than the feature films starring Arnold Schwarzennegger.

Not that there isn't lots for kids to like about those films...

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