Saturday Morning Cartoons - Rules Of The Road (Runner)

Wait, that is a complete load of <BEEP!>  Wile E. Coyote would never behave like that! Sure, he's hungry - but his pride would prevent him from partaking in that complete breakfast! It's against the rules!

Ahem.

As mentioned in a post not so long ago, Chuck Jones established his Road Runner and Coyote series around a set of 10 rules, as detailed in his book, "Chuck Amuck". And it is with great disappointment I've come to realize (based on years of comparative, obsessive research) that every one of these rules have been broken. Let me explain...

(***Note: This research only acknowledges Road Runner cartoons made by Chuck Jones. There should be an additional rule against those who would even attempt to mimic his genius.***)


RULE 1:  THE ROAD RUNNER CANNOT HARM THE COYOTE EXCEPT BY GOING "BEEP, BEEP!"

For the most part, that has remained true. But here's an example of the Road Runner displaying a not-so-innocent streak, at the 1:46 mark into his very first cartoon, 1949's 'Fast And Furry-ous'.

RULE 2 - NO OUTSIDE FORCE CAN HARM THE COYOTE -- ONLY HIS OWN INEPTITUDE OR THE FAILURE OF THE ACME PRODUCTS 

At several points in the series, there are moments when even the Acme brand cannot be held responsible for Wile's E.'s misfortune. Who could have foreseen (or effectively sued) over the failure of the Burmese tiger trap in 1954's 'Stop! Look! And Hasten!'? In fact, it's not a failure at all! It may be one of the few Acme products that worked as intended!

RULE 3 - THE COYOTE COULD STOP ANYTIME -- IF HE WAS NOT A FANATIC. (REPEAT: "A FANATIC IS ONE WHO REDOUBLES HIS EFFORT WHEN HE HAS FORGOTTEN HIS AIM." -- GEORGE SANTAYANA)

Well, at the start of 1956's 'There They Go-Go-Go', Wile E. has clearly stopped and moved on with his life, picking up new hobbies like firing kilns. That is until the damn Road Runner starts a fire of his own.

RULE 4 - NO DIALOGUE EVER, EXCEPT "BEEP, BEEP"

Not sure if this only applies to the Road Runner, but Wile E. has spoken on several occasions.

He first presented himself as a "super genius" when pitted against Bugs Bunny. But those were Bugs Bunny cartoons where I don't believe the rules apply.

In the 'Adventures of The Road Runner' pilot (and in that breakaway cartoon, 'Zip Zip Hooray', which I showed you in that other post), Wile E. speaks, but only behind-the-scenes. I like to think that these rules apply to the films themselves and not the actors. I'm sure off-camera, even the Road Runner was like, "I distinctly recall asking for heated bird seed, Mr. Jones! This is lukewarm at best!" Anything goes until it's "quiet on the set", you see.

Also, there is yelping, screaming and the occasional misguided laughter in pretty much every single cartoon, but even those are just exclamations and not actual speech.

But there is a single word uttered in a Road Runner cartoon - just the one from what I can recall - and it's heard at the 4:11 mark in 1962's 'Zoom At The Top'.

RULE 5 - THE ROAD RUNNER MUST STAY ON THE ROAD -- OTHERWISE, LOGICALLY, HE WOULD NOT BE CALLED ROAD RUNNER

Well, if that's true, there is one HELLUVA pothole to be found 48 seconds into 1959's 'Hot Rod & Reel'.

RULE 6 - ALL ACTION MUST BE CONFINED TO THE NATURAL ENVIRONMENT OF THE TWO CHARACTERS -- THE SOUTHWEST AMERICAN DESERT

Apparently that rule doesn't apply during the holidays, as evidenced in 1979's 'Freeze Frame', which was initially released as part of a TV special called Bugs Bunny's Looney Christmas Tales.

RULE 7 - ALL MATERIALS, TOOLS, WEAPONS, OR MECHANICAL CONVENIENCES MUST BE OBTAINED FROM THE ACME CORPORATION

Seems Wile E. Coyote's catapult problems stemmed from a rival company, if the end of 1963's 'To Beep Or Not To Beep' is any indication.

RULE 8 - WHENEVER POSSIBLE, MAKE GRAVITY THE COYOTE'S GREATEST ENEMY

I dunno. Wile E. has a lot of enemies (erosion, faulty wiring, Burmese tigers), but when I catch some of the devious <BEEP!> that Road Runner gets away with (like 1:20 into 1953's 'Zipping Along'), I can't help but think it's the Road Runner who is Wile E.'s greatest enemy. C'mon, you're telling me that was an accident?!?

RULE 9 - THE COYOTE IS ALWAYS MORE HUMILIATED THAN HARMED BY HIS FAILURES

From what I've watched this morning, I'm gonna say the Coyote has been very harmed by his failures. Pick any cartoon at any given point for proof.

RULE 10 - THE AUDIENCE'S SYMPATHY MUST REMAIN WITH THE COYOTE

If that were true, then why am I laughing so hard?

Ah well. I guess as the Road Runner has taught us time and time again (and perhaps no more frustratingly so then at the end of 1960's 'Fastest With The Mostest'), rules were made to be broken.