Saturday, 18 May 2013

Saturday Morning Cartoons - An Oral History Of Animation

I'm trying to avoid eating the usual sugary cereals with my cartoons this morning, because I have to go to the dentist.

I've had about 3 cavities in my lifetime. And truthfully (toothfully?), I'm surprised I didn't have more considering the cereals I choked down as a kid. Saturday morning advertising was a bad influence in that respect. But I recall the cartoons themselves had a lot of positive influence when it came to dental hygiene. Hell, it was presented as a realistic career option every Christmas.

Public service announcements indicated that all the cool kids brushed their teeth.

Drop-outs were doing it!

Even the dead kids were doing it!

In fact, brushing your teeth wasn't just fun - it was your civic duty!

The Simpsons tried adding a more urban appeal to their educational material, along with some big name guest stars.

But I prefer a less pandering approach with a more modest celebrity, as seen in 'Tooth Brushing'. Ironically, the kid who never smiled is concerned about dental hygiene.

When you're really young, losing your teeth is perfectly natural and a great way to earn extra money. Baby Huey (who maybe isn't THAT young) demonstrated in 1994's 'The Tooth Fairy'.

The much younger Fozzie Bear made a million bucks on his loose tooth, until the Muppet Babies counter-offered with a zillion billion trillion dollars in 1984's 'Dental Hyjinks'.

Yes, as South Park taught us in Season 4's 'The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000', cashing in via the tooth fairy is "the tits"! 

But maybe you don't believe in all of that "kids stuff, crazy stuff". Did Stimpy ever tell you the story about the tooth beaver from 'Ren's Toothache'?

When experiencing mouth pain, you need to be mindful of it. If left untreated, a 'Toothache' can get really ugly. Like, Mr. Bean ugly.

Sometimes when it gets REALLY ugly, it can't hurt to call a friend for moral (and/or oral) assistance. Katnip consulted with Buzzy The Crow below in 1952 to learn 'The Awful Tooth'

The always neighbourly Fred Flintstone helped his buddy Barney see 'Nuthin' But The Tooth' back in 1962.

Friends are great and all. But when it comes to your teeth, you should always seek the aid of a professional, like Oswald The Lucky Rabbit did in 'The Merry Old Soul' from 1933. If anything, a dentist will have access to WAY better drugs than your friends do.

I can recommend a few good practitioners. There's the stop-motion Glenn Martin, DDS, voiced by Kevin Nealon over at Nickelodeon.

I know The Warners Wakko, Yakko and Dot from Animaniacs, had a short-lived family practice a few years ago. And by a few years ago, I mean Russia circa early 1900's.

Maybe your insurance is lacking or you can't afford a good dentist. Perhaps you'd consider visiting a free dental college as a non-willing test subject, like Johnny Bravo's mom insisted upon in 'Dental Hijinks' from 2000.

Or you can always find a friendly jackass to kick you in the mouth if need be, as 'The Good Little Bunny With The Big Bad Teeth' did in 2010.

Getting your teeth fixed can bring your confidence back, and lend some much-needed lustre to your love life.

The tooth is...I mean, the truth is, the lessons we learned as a kid should still apply today. We must simply take better care of our teeth. 

Otherwise, we'll never eat another bowl of cereal (or tacos) again.

PS: This "tooth fairy" below looks stupid and I would rather have a root canal than watch this film. Actually, just talking about it makes me feel better about seeing a dentist already! 

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